Last night, after a fifteen hour day of teaching prep, grading and teaching, I unwound by reading Where the Mountain Meets the Moon by Grace Lin. The book was my niece’s selection for this month’s book club (our club with an exclusive membership of two). It was a gift from a relative who works in a library, and who includes this as one of her favorite books, and both she, and my niece, are right in their love of this beautiful little book. It is the story of Minli, a girl from a dull, brown village, who is quick and clever, and seeking to find wealth and comfort for her parents, journeys to ask the Old Man of the Moon how to change her family’s fortune. What unfolds is not just the girl’s journey, in which she befriends a dragon, along with many other friends including goldfish and kings, but it is also the journey of her parents, first to find her, and then to accept her absence and quest. The journey itself is engaging, with artful scenes of friendship and adventure, but in addition, threaded throughout the book are a series of inter-connected folk tales of the Old Man and the Moon, and the Tiger Magistrate, and many other Chinese folk tales. They are beautifully told and integrated into the main text, informing and interacting with the present action story. Various people tell the stories, but the primary storyteller is Minli’s father, Ba. He is also the one who gives voice to the power and necessity of stories. As the book tells it, his telling her stories every night is “What kept Minli from becoming dull and brown like the rest of the village,” (3) and yet while he tells his wife that “stories cost us nothing,” she replies that they “gain us nothing as well” (18) and thus the premise of the book is established. Throughout the course of the novel, the stories educate and deepen all the characters understanding of the world, as well as add to and enhances the beauty in their lives. Ba makes the distinction that while stories might be impossible, that doesn’t mean they are ridiculous (45). The characters tell about their lives in stories, and they seek to make sense of loss and hardship through stories, and they celebrate beauty through stories. Indeed, in this way, in a gentle, kid-friendly way, this book is quite meta in being a story about how stories are necessary.

But I don’t want to just write a post about how people are narrative creatures, and that we depend on story-telling to make sense of our world. I believe this, of course, but Grace Lin’s book does a better job than I can do on that today. Rather, the book also got me thinking about the beauty of books. Not just the beauty of the writing itself, but the actual craft of the appearance of a book. Where The Mountain Meets the Moon is a beautiful book. My niece has the hardback, with deep blues and reds on the book jacket, showing Minli riding on the back of Dragon, and throughout the book itself are similarly beautiful illustrations by Lin. While e-books have their place, and there is something to be said for having a library at your fingertips, I am convinced that traditional paper books will always have a place, because there is beauty and utility in the printed form that can not be replicated.

In college I apprenticed for a time at the Washington College Literary House Press, a hand-set letterpress art press in the O’Neill Literary House. The Lit House was open 24 hours for any writers who wanted a place to hang out, read, write, talk about books, pontificate about life, play board games, party, hold readings, drink too much cheap wine, make bad coffee, and borrow paperbacks. Shelves of paperbacks are scattered throughout the book, all free for the taking, which is another beauty of printed books – the pure democratic accessibility of them. Whether borrowed from a traditional library, or from a paperback lending library, paperback books are available for all, regardless of economic status. While working at the Lit House Press, I learned to love the beauty of type as I hand-set fliers and posters, and learned how to create clear, strong margins for framing words, and how to pick the right vibrant ink for the job, I also learned how to just be immersed with words at the Lit House itself. On sleepless nights, I would let myself into the press to distribute type, the mindless work of putting the type back into its compartments after a printing job was done. The work was soothing, and often would lull me into sleep, but just as often I’d find some book to read, or someone to talk to, and so would pass a night. It was a public place for the twenty-four hour praise of books, and I’m so glad that it was a part of my life, and that it continues to be a part of Washington College student’s lives.

That post wandered a bit off track, and then languished here in saved drafts for two days, so I’m going to post these thoughts, as unpolished and flawed as they are. There is more that I want to say about the beauty of books, but I’ll ramble about that some other day.

Last night I gave my Short Story students their paper assignment for the semester and induced a class-wide panic attack. It was kind of fun, especially since I know they are up to the challenge. What caused such panic? My resurrection and reinterpretation of the “All Souls Essay,” except that my students can choose from 4 words, and have 2 months to write the paper. I look forward to the results.

I assigned them this paper because I loved writing papers as both an undergraduate and graduate student. Papers were the chance for me to throw off the bonds of class and really engage with an idea. I loved class discussions, but sometimes I just wanted to be alone with an idea. For that matter, I loved taking tests as well, as long as they were essay exams, because facing a four or five prompts, and knowing you had just three hours to write your answers, was a thrill I can only compare to sports. I used to be a fast pitch softball pitcher, and facing the essay exam, or paper assignment, is akin to standing on the mound, entirely alone and dependent on your own skill. Once I released the pitch, I had a great team to back me up in fielding any hits, but for that moment of delivery, everything depended on me, on my athleticism and training, and I feel the same way about writing. In writing papers, essays or even creative work, when it comes down to it, it is just me in a room with a blank sheet of paper, and it is up to the athleticism and training of my mind to do something with that opportunity.

I like that thrill and challenge, but I also loved papers because they gave me ownership of my education. No matter what my teachers or professors thought was important, I could write an essay that would teach me something. I am constantly exhorting my students to own their papers, to seize them as a chance to learn things that they may otherwise never learn. I want them to get lost in an idea and chase it to fruition. And I think that this “All Souls” essay may be a way in for them to do that.

I recently finished reading a Sven Birkerts collection titled, The Other Walk . I’ve had a writer’s crush on Birkerts for almost twenty years, ever since I read the Gutenberg Elegies back in 1995. In that book, Birkerts grappled with the Internet, which was just beginning to gain real popular momentum. He recognized it as an inevitable force, and oceanic wave of change, but also sounded the warning call that while things may seem inevitable, we also have the rights, and indeed the responsibility, to be conscious in our choices and how we spend our lives. The thing that hung with me for years after that book was his warning that while our access to knowledge was certainly on the rise, he feared for our loss of wisdom, because wisdom required knowledge and time. Wisdom requires space for quiet reflection. In the twenty years since then, that Internet wave has come and washed over all of us, transforming the world. I am writing these thoughts in a wholly electronic medium, and yet, at least right now, for the moment of this writing, I am alone, in the quiet of my apartment, carving out space for reflection and writing in my day. But I also worry if that is enough. I battle with this electronic writing, the unpolished nature of blog posts. I read many blogs now as part of my regular reading life, and many of them are beautiful and thought-provoking and I think they enrich my intellectual life. But then again, I pause, because I also love the careful craft and polish of Birkerts’ essays, which is writing that lasts, that hangs around in my mind for years.

I think the difference is, maybe, that well-written blogs, like http://billanddavescocktailhour.com/, http://ofkells.blogspot.com/, http://danastaves.wordpress.com/2012/02/14/my-first-real-valentines-day/ and http://marywestwords.wordpress.com/ are my reading equivalent of the traditional All Souls Essay. These blogs are all the work of writers seizing upon a thought, idea or word, and writing about it in a rush. And in that rush comes emotional resonance, humor, and often surprising insights. But then books like The Other Walk, are the product of time spent in the quite, in getting lost in ideas and problems for days, or even years. That is the writing that likewise stays with me. There are some writers whose books I read slow, whose writing I live in for a week at a time, and other books, no matter how dense, that I can read in a day or two. Without question, I prefer the books that take the time to read. And often I discover that the books that read fast were likewise written fast. The books that resonate for me are the ones that were the product of years of labor. That is just the kind of reader, and writer, that I am.

The Other Walk is a series of essays, essays I imagine that were written over the course of at least several years, but maybe I am wrong in that. The essays are short. Many are barely two pages long. Some stretch to six or seven pages, but few wander past that mark. Many of them are essays about writing, others are essays about family, and self, and about the work of thinking, reflection and memory. The book very much seems like Birkerts “All Souls” essays, especially in that so many are inspired by a single object. Essays like “Head,” about a small ceramic head, “Cup,” “Postcard,” “Ladder,” “Apple,” “Stone Shard,” “Archive,” and “Papa.” He takes us into that image, and then, invariably, takes us someplace even greater. Through the specificity of his writing, Birkerts approaches the universal, which is, of course, what all great literature does. As Aristotle wrote, “Poetry, therefore, is a more philosophical and a higher thing than history: for poetry tends to express the universal, history the particular.” Of land that he grew up on, that his grandfather painted, Birkerts wrote, “I crisscrossed that land so often in those years that I have stitched it shut in my memory. Nothing can break into what I remember.” Of fury he writes, “Fury is the point past which reason cannot intercede.” And near the end of the essay “Postcard,” of returning back to a place of his youth, he wrote, “I stood there, pulverized. Pulverized and rearranged.” In each of these moments, he was writing about something specific in his life, and yet he transcended to the universal experience.

What those short quotes fail to do is demonstrate the difference between Birkerts writing and Internet writing. I would need to retype the entire essay to reproduce that. But then again, also part of the pleasure of reading his book is the being unplugged, of retreating into myself with no other distractions to pull me away from the reading I am engaged in. In the end, there is room for all types of writing. I am glad for the sprints and displays of mental and emotional agility in the blogs I read, but I am also glad for the books that are products of long hours of unplugged solitude, where metaphors are crafted, hammered and polished.

I am not sure what my students will write for their “All Souls Papers,” but I’m looking forward to reading the results. I do not expect any one of them to be Birkerts, but I do expect them to surprise me, and more importantly, for them to surprise themselves. I want them to take that plunge into their intellect and stretch themselves beyond what they thought was possible. I believe that is what the original “All Souls” essay really did – it demonstrated the limits the mind could go when tested, and the result is that our minds, really, are limitless.

The Fairy-Tale Detectives (The Sisters Grimm, #1)The Fairy-Tale Detectives by Michael Buckley
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I’m reading these for bookclub with my niece. She stumbled upon the series, and after reading the first one announced that she really needed someone else to read them so that she could talk about the book! Hooray for books generating community, even (or especially) the community between a niece and an aunt. By the time I got a chance to request the book from the library, she’d read the first three in the series, and thus so did I, and we discuss them next weekend. I meant to stagger them out over the week, to be ready to discuss them next Friday, but they were so good that I read all three this weekend. I am delighted with this series! It stars two sisters, age 11 and 7, who’s parents disappeared, leaving them to bounce around the foster care system for 1 1/2 years until a grandmother they didn’t know they had takes them in. It turns out that they are the great, great, great granddaughters of Wilhelm and Jakob Grimm, and the Grimm family’s legacy is to record lives of the “everafter” folk who are all very much real and exiled in America, having sought freedom from persecution along the banks of the Hudson River over 200 years ago. The books are rich with danger and adventure, engaging with Fairy Tales in a real and interesting way. The fairy tale characters come out of the Grimm versions, not Disney, and so have a decided realistic and hard bent to them. The two sisters are likewise real girls, not two-dimensionally sweet, or seeking to be perfect. They are very much individuals, and the older girl, who is the point of view character, is understandably bitter from her experiences in being abandoned and then being in the foster system, and so does not initially embrace her new life as a Fairy Tale crime fighter. And the themes of good and evil are extremely complex, with most of the Everafter folk having a very real grudge against the Grimms, while the Grimms are trying to do the best for everyone. The oldest sister struggles with her own bigotry and distrust of the world, the younger sister is wonderfully peculiar and open-hearted. Puck, as an 11-year old boy, is mischievous and disgusting and everything you would hope Puck to be, but also wrestles with his desire to be a villian and the fact that he feels called to protect those he loves as his family.

As a child who read mostly “boy” books, not bonding with the “girlier” female protagonists in books and the themes those books dealt with like boys and emotions, I sought out the boy books for adventure and how to be a strong survivor in the world. And now here is a a “girl” book that does both. The girls are survivors, living many different adventures, getting by on their wits, courage and strength. The girls also get in trouble, disobey their elders, and are flawed in many ways, and they are also very much girls, in many layered and wonderful ways. When I was a kid playing imaginary games, living out the lives of made up characters, I was always a boy. Later, when I was thirteen and realizing that I was gay, I worried and wondered if this was gender confusion on my part, if I really did want to be a boy. But the answer then, and now, is no. I have always been, and will always be, a girl. It was just that, when I was a kid, I had very few role models of girls that were resourceful, strong, mischievous, liked getting dirty, liked being tough, and were always going off on adventures. That was solely the domain of boys in my childhood books, and thus I grew up a bit of a male chauvinist, thinking guys more capable than girls (girls other than myself). I grew up disdaining my gender, because I didn’t think my experience of being a girl was actually true and validated by the rest of the world. But now there are books that do validate my experience, and I am so glad that my niece has them.

All of the above makes this is truly a book featuring female protagonists that could be read by girls and boys alike. Last summer I went to hear my good friend, the poet Rebecca Lauren, talk at a Front Porch talk for the James River Writers group, and the group focused on writing for girls (as inspired by the moderators “Girls of Summer” reading list/website http://girlsofsummerlist.wordpress.com/. And, for me, one of the most interesting threads of conversation, was that while girls often read books about boy protagonists, it was just as vital for boys to read books featuring girls. Reading these books will provide just as much adventure to the boy reader as the Ranger’s Apprentice series does, but it will also sneak in the very real insight that girls truly are as capable as boys. That is an essential lesson for both boys and girls alike.

The reading level is likely at a 3rd or 4th grade level (I’m not really good at judging that), but even with all the complex scenes, it was absolutely age appropriate from my 7 year old niece, with no too scary monsters or violence or more adult moments. Also, as an added perk, I think any kid reading these books will feel impelled to seek out the source material for these books, and thus read the old Fairy Tales of Grimm and Anderson and others.

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I gave my nephew a set of four books this last Christmas: Big Red, Irish Red, Outlaw Red (a trilogy of Irish Setter stories) and Stormy, all by Jim Kjelgaard, and then for his ninth birthday, I found two more (the books are mostly out-of-print) Snow Dog and Wild Trek.  He’s loved the books, as I figured he would, him being a kid who has spent much of his life pretending he was a dog, or some other animal.  Then, after he was done with them, he lent them back to me, and after over 25 years away, I happily immersed myself back in Kjelgaard’s universe.

As a kid, I loved two authors above all others – Jim Kjelgaard and Jack London.  Kjelgaard came first – I began reading him when I was about eight, and I read and reread him for the next couple of years until I found The Call of the Wild and White Fang and all of Jack London’s short stories.  Kjelgaard is definitely a young adult writer, with story lines that are straightforward, lacking the difficult layering of themes.  He writes about young men, mostly all trappers, and their dogs, and his characters are all men.  The only woman in the six above mentioned books appears in Big Red, and she is cold, distant and gone in just a few short pages.  However, as a kid, I wasn’t worried about the feminist implications of the lack of women.  I cared instead about these men and their dogs, because despite the lack of women, or maybe because of it, these stories were unreservedly love stories of men in love with their dogs, and whose dogs love them.  These were love stories I could relate to and understand.  I read Kjelgaard knowing that he would never disappoint me like the Little House books did when Laura got married and betrayed our tomboy sisterhood.  By reading these books I was given a chance to dream a life without bounds, outside of the construct of traditional relationships – of marriage, career and kids.  Reading these books solidified my aspirations to be resourceful, tough, brave, loyal and possessing intimate knowledge of the land where I lived.  Reading those books taught me how to love the world, because that is the other thing the men loved besides their dogs – they loved their land.

These men were trappers, yes, killing hundreds of animals for their fur every year, but they were also mountain men who loved and lived in the woods.  I was troubled by this seeming incongruity when I was a kid, having read of the suffering of animals in these traps, but it was by this trapping that these men ventured into the woods, and still today it is hunters, those men and women who go into the woods, fields and marshes to hunt venison, duck, turkey and quail – that know the land in a way that few of us will ever know.  This is something that cannot be overlooked.

In college I went on a NOLS natural history backpacking trip in the Absoraka and Beartooth ranges in Wyoming and Montana, and our primary purpose was to backpack for 28 days, learning the ecology of the mountain environments.  However, one of our early lessons was also how to fly fish.  Hiking, sleeping and cooking in small groups of four, I volunteered to carry my group’s flyrod everyday, happily accepting the extra weight of it’s PVC pipe carrying case, because that meant that I had first dibs of using it when we got into camp at night.  We were graded for the skills we learned that month, and the only skill I “failed,” was cooking, because every night as my group prepped our meal, I was at a trout stream, fishing us our dinner, and my hiking group had fish to eat almost every night, a happy addition of protein to our backwoods, carbohydrate-heavy diets.  And while I loved every day of hiking through those mountains, and marveled at the mountain lakes and the sweep of tundra and pine forest, what I remember most distinctly was the trout streams.  I remember the lake where I caught my first trout (a small brook trout), the stream where I first caught a rainbow, and the stream I caught my first cutthroat.  And of these creeks and brooks and occasional river, I know those waterways with an intimacy unlike anything I have for trails I walked.  By acting as the predator, I saw the river deeply – I noticed where the small eddies were as the brook made a slight bend, I saw the hole behind the rock, the overhanging tree cooling the water, the place where the creek pinched together and the small falls that followed.

Of course it is possible to see deeply without killing.  Birders seek out their “prey,” with the same intensity as hunters, and a person just returning to the same spot again and again and simply being still in it will see and know that place greater than anyone else.  Farmers know their land, and kids know their neighborhoods. Indeed, I worked as a sea kayaking guide for years, and got to know almost one hundred rivers and tidal creeks with varying levels of intimacy.  But I know the rivers I fished even a little bit better than the rest, attuned to the snags that slow the water, and holes that cool, and “rocky” oyster bottoms that draw rockfish and bluefish. You do not need to hunt to see, but my point is that by hunting and fishing, one gets the chance to gaze upon the world in a way that the vast majority of people miss. Some of the wilderness’ greatest advocates were and are hunters.  Aldo Leopold, the founding father of sustainable landuse was a hunter, Audobon hunted, and Rick Bass, the man who loves his Yaak Valley so deeply that I worry for his health, writes about hunting with as much love as Jim Kjelgaard once did.

The nature writer, David Gessner wrote a blog post recently titled “Mr. Hopeless” (http://billanddavescocktailhour.com/mr-hopeless/#more-2240 about his dislike of purist environmentalists, and he makes a wonderful point.  He recently wrote his Green Manifesto, with the objective:

To describe the ways that my own life, and the lives of some people I admire, are connected to the natural world, and the benefits that come from that connection, benefits that are not always obvious.

And in his manifesto, he celebrates environmental hypocrisy.  He writes about hope being key, even when faced with the crisis of climate change.  And he also argues for the necessity of hypocrisy.  As he writes:

Another part is about admitting our own hypocrisy but still fighting on. The best summary of this last sentiment was given by . . . Dan Driscoll, the eco planner who for two decades has fought to clean up the Charles River, adding greenways and native plantings. One day, while we were paddling down that same river, Dan said this to me:

“We nature lovers are hypocrites, of course. We are all hypocrites. None of us are consistent. The problem is that we let that fact stop us. We worry that if we fight for nature, people will say, ‘But you drive a car,’ or, ‘You fly a lot,’ or, ‘You’re a consumer, too.’ And that stops us in our tracks. It’s almost as if admitting that we are hypocrites lets people off the hook.”

I pulled my paddle out of the water to listen.

“What we need are more hypocrites,” he said. “We need hypocrites who aren’t afraid of admitting it but will still fight for the environment. We don’t need some sort of pure movement run by pure people. We need hypocrites!”

We humans are part of this world, and if we are going to save this world it will not be through perfectionism, but by living in our sloppy imperfect ways, but living with a goal of making things better rather than worse.  We can strive for consciousness in our living, being aware of our watershed, biking more and eating as locally as we can afford to (but without self righteousness), and lessening our carbon footprint on the world.  We can turn off lights and air conditioners, we can reuse and recycle.  We can upcycle (a subject for a future blog).  But we also must actually LOVE this world in order to save it.  We must be allowed to live in it, to hike in it, to hunt and eat from it.  We have to be able to live without the constant guilt of imperfection, of feeling that we can never be good enough to save the world on our own, so why even try.  It is like going on a diet and then when you slip up, giving up entirely and eating whatever being punitive with ourselves for failure.  Perfection gets us nowhere, but love, love in all its forms, love of place, of meat, of vegetables, of dogs, of fathers, of wives and husbands, partners and friends, love for our children, actual real love – that is a power that is real.

One of the reasons I loved London’s books, and Kjelgaard, is the description of the food.  Kjelgaard has his men cook breakfasts of pancakes and dinner’s of pork chops, or venison, or brook trout.  He seasons his food with butter, salt and pepper, or in the case of Wild Trek, food is seasoned simply by the hunger of survival.  Eating to survive, eating as fuel, was also a revelation to me as a child living a comfortable suburban life.  The narrator of London’s story “To Build A Fire,” has a bacon sandwhich tucked inside his shirt to keep it warm.  London describes it as such:

As for lunch, he pressed his hand against the protruding bundle under his jacket. It was also under his shirt, wrapped up in a handkerchief and lying against the naked skin. It was the only way to keep the biscuits from freezing. He smiled agreeably to himself as he thought of those biscuits, each cut open and sopped in bacon grease, and each enclosing a generous slice of fried bacon.

The simplicity of that bacon sandwich was wonderful to me, as was the idea of eating with such true, real hunger.  Of carrying a sandwich next to your skin to keep it from freezing – the using of food as real fuel for oneself.  I even wrote a short story built around the idea of describing such a sandwich.  The shopping list that Link Stevens gives in Snow Dog is for:

fifty pounds of sugar, two hundred flour, fifty each of rice and beans, thirty of raisins, maybe thirty of dehydrated apricots and peaches.  You know what I need: about six hundred pounds all told.

And with that he put in his grub stake order for the next year, everything else he ate he would catch or kill.  It wasn’t the gourmet quality of the food, but rather the simplicity of it – the idea that you could quantify your food in such a way and survive on so little, and that food was necessary for survival, as fuel rather than as indulgence.

I am teaching “To Build A Fire” this summer as part of a short story class.  I sat down to dinner to reread it and prepare some teaching notes, but was distracted by the meal I prepared of lamb chops and sweet corn.  Living alone for the summer, I quickly forgot my manners and tore into meat and corn with my hands and teeth, the juices and butter dripping down my chin and hands.  It was the best meal I’ve eaten in ages, made out of five ingredients, lamb, salt, basil (from my herb garden), corn and butter.  The dog I am watching this summer dozed through this all, sleeping a few feet from my table, ready to stand and follow me if he sensed movement, but otherwise not concerned with my lip-smacking.  I didn’t finish reading “To Build A Fire” during dinner, I’ll have to do that later tonight.  But I think my meal was as fine a tribute to Kjelgaard and London as I could have ever conceived.  And getting back outside, into the world, and actively loving the world, is an even greater tribute.

 

In A Better World

Posted: June 3, 2011 in Uncategorized

Yesterday I watched In A Better World at the Naro Cinema.  I was thinking about using this blog mainly to catalog books and writing, but watching movies feeds my mind and my writing just as much as the written word.  There are certain movies, like Once, that I turn to again and again to help rekindle and push my creative drive.  Others, like Metallica’s Some Kind of Monster and the skater movie Lords of Dogtown, I use to remind me of adolescence and struggles with self.  In A Better World works in the vein of the latter group, not because it dwells in the angst and focused duende of youth, although it does have elements of that, but rather because it looks at the place of violence in the world, and in our lives.

At the center of In A Better World are two kids, maybe 12 years old, who become friends when Christian, the new kid in town, beats up the boy who had been bullying the other main character, Silas.  Christian’s father scolds him for beating up the bully, saying that fighting never solves anything, that it just causes more conflict, war spawning war spawning war.  His argument is sane and true, an argument that is well born out by all of human history.  But an argument to which Christian responds, “Not if you hit hard enough the first time,” telling his father that in every school he’s moved to, it’s always been the same – he had to get in a fight at the beginning, hitting harder than his opponent, and after that no one would bother him.  And I found I agreed with him too, even though Christian just articulated the child’s version of the endlessly problematic and ill-conceived Shock and Awe war begun by George W. Bush.

When I was in school, I subscribed both to Christian’s and his father’s philosophy.  I was anti-war because history showed that wars propagate violence and instability, and was a way that larger nations bullied and manipulated smaller nations, and yet every school I attended I also got into one fight, and after that I never had to fight again – something I was conscious of and articulated in the very same way as Christian.  As a teenager, I made little connection between personal violence and violence between nations, once even claiming to be a violent pacifist, using violence only on the personal level.  I fought fights so that I wouldn’t have to fight again, but to be honest, I also liked the rush and clarity of fighting.  My sister never had to fight in order to avoid fighting, and she attended the same schools as me.  There was something in me that was seeking out a world in which violence was necessary.  At various times I carried weapons to school, a knife, a chain with a ball of keys at one end, a roll of dimes in my pocket to harden my fist.  I never used these weapons and most of this was part of my creation of my self-image, my way of hardening myself for a world that I didn’t understand.  Much of this self image I borrowed from books and movies.  But still, I was armed for violence.

In the 2002 movie, Bowling for Columbine, Michael Moore makes the connection between the school shooting and the weapons factory of Lockheed Martin, the town’s largest employer. To many, the connection seems like a stretch, but In A Better World that same parallel is drawn between the violence of war and personal violence.  Silas’s father works in a refugee camp in Africa, flying back and forth between there and Denmark.  While in Denmark, he tries to teach Silas and Christian the pointlessness of violence, showing them that after being slapped by another man, he could make the choice not to hit back, but to rather be victorious in the higher ground of non-violence.  But Christian does not believe that lesson, and Silas’s father’s commitment to his own ideals is challenged in Africa when faced with violent militia men who slice open pregnant women for sport.  The movie powerfully asks the question, when faced with such evil acts, isn’t acting in violence, to defend the innocent, justifiable?  The question is made personal for Silas’s dad, but making a war personal is a very clear reminder that all wars involve individuals, that in this military town in which I live, there are many people here who have lost a friend, brother, son, father, daughter, mother or wife.  Indeed many of my students are returning veterans, or are part of the ROTC program and are preparing for their service.  These past, current and future soldiers are some of my best students, and in the quiet and safety of the classroom, it is easy for me to forget that my veteran students have lived  through wars in which they were put into situations of defending their lives, and the lives of their buddies, and in a greater sense, the lives of their nation, through violence and likely killing.  War is always a personal act, lived by the soldiers and citizens in wars’ midst.

While there is redemption and healing in the movie, there are also no clear answers.  Violence is shown for what it is, an often horrific power.  It is telling that the movie is titled In A Better World, pointing at the current impossibility of a peaceable world in our world.  How do you lay down your weapons when it seems that everyone else is carrying them?  How do you lay down your weapons when others are committing unspeakable acts? And how do you forgive someone who has harmed you?  These are difficult choices, but these are the choices necessary to begin peace, because even when justified as self-defense, violent actions always have unintended consequences.  Every man and woman and child killed in war creates new enemies out of husbands, wives, fathers and sons.  Every war disrupts and destroys nations.  Every war fought spawns new wars.  And a civilization in which violence is acceptable as a means of intimidation or defense is a civilization that permits and engages in war.

Many argue that violence is in human nature, but the human race, like all animals have constantly evolved, and so it thus shouldn’t be impossible to imagine a world that could evolve to be non-violent.  There have been powerful world changing demonstrations of the power of non-violence.  Also, it is easy to forget that the mass majority of humankind will never kill another human being, and will live lives of personal peace (whether consciously or not).  In A Better World contrasts the ways children respond to pressures for violence and the ways adults can choose to respond.  The father could choose not to hit, to not to resort to violence, because he was coming from a position of strength, unlike Christian, who was struggling to find his place in the world.  The movie points to the hope of maturing, of gaining power over our instincts, and thus not begetting more violence out of our own violence.  Similarly, earlier this year I listened to a Radio Lab episode called the New Baboon which detailed how a group of baboons evolved peaceful behaviors due to a change in their food supply.  A consequence of this change was that young male baboons were raised in a culture of cooperation rather than in a culture of violence and the resulting changed behaviors seemed to be getting passed down through the generations, the less aggressive and more cooperative baboons being the more successful baboon, thus evolving a kinder, gentler baboon.  The results of the study are inconclusive, with some scientists arguing that the dominant aggression in baboon nature will eventually reassert itself, but there is likewise the hope that it could now, and that aggression could be sloughed off as residual.  It is thus interesting to imagine a parallel in the human world, and what would happen if non-aggression is rewarded and fostered and eventually passes into our evolution.

As a teenager, I held onto absolute beliefs, but now all those beliefs are gone.  I once called myself a violent pacifist, and now I guess I’d term myself a realist pacifist.  I’m not sure I could be like the father in the movie, letting myself be slapped again and again by a bully.  I know I could not let that happen to someone I love, and thus I cannot honestly say that I am against all wars – only the truly non-violent can say that.  But I can aspire to that ideal.  I can aspire to be like the monks in Of Gods and Men, and dwell in love even when confronted by violence.  While there may be hope in eventual evolution towards being kinder and gentler, I hold onto the even greater hope that the vast majority of people have always demonstrated a much greater capacity for love than they do for hate and violence.  I hope that in aspiring to being our better selves, in our small, daily lives, that by doing this each one of us is making progress towards a better, more peaceful world.

All said, that was $9 at the movie theater well spent.

To celebrate a friend’s graduation from her MFA program, she and I flew to the Yucatan peninsula for ten days of vacation.   In the course of our time in Mexico, we snorkeled amongst a stunning variety of fish and coral; visited the ruins of Tulum and Chichen Itza; stayed in the colonial cities of Vallodolid and Merida; saw hundreds of flamingos in Celestun; ate delicious food like queso relleno; swam amongst stalactites in a cenote; and in between doing all this, we read.  One of my favorite things about vacation is the permission it gives me to read at odd hours of the day, freed from the grind of only reading before bedtime, or only reading the books most applicable to my teaching or writing.  For Mexico, I wanted to read books outside of my ordinary reading list and by Spanish speaking writers.  I ended up selecting The Bad Girl by Mario Vargas Llosa, a Peruvian writer and 2010 winner of the Nobel Prize, and 2666 by Roberto Bolano, a Chilean born writer who lived much of his adult life in Mexico.  I am still reading the latter, but the first book was a wonderful beginning to my vacation.

I read books for the usual reasons.  I read to be transported into other worlds, to live inside other people for a time, to gain empathy and understanding, to be moved to tears and laughter, to be frightened, challenged and exhilarated.  I read because humans are narrative creatures, and we find meaning, knowledge and transcendence through stories.  I also read in order to learn the craft of writing.  The two pieces of advice every writer will give when asked what to do in order to learn how to write are summarized as such: to read a lot and to write a lot.  That all.  But hidden in those simple instructions is the secret that as you read and as you write, you become a better, more careful and insightful reader and writer.  You learn how to tear apart texts and interrogate them for their secrets.  And as a writer, you begin to learn how to put your imagination into words.  In his Nobel Lecture, Llosa talks about this process, saying that:

Writing stories was not easy. When they were turned into words, projects withered on the paper and ideas and images failed. How to reanimate them? Fortunately, the masters were there, teachers to learn from and examples to follow.
Flaubert taught me that talent is unyielding discipline and long patience. Faulkner, that form – writing and structure – elevates or impoverishes subjects. Martorell, Cervantes, Dickens, Balzac, Tolstoy, Conrad, Thomas Mann, that scope and ambition are as important in a novel as stylistic dexterity and narrative strategy. Sartre, that words are acts, that a novel, a play, or an essay, engaged with the present moment and better options, can change the course of history. Camus and Orwell, that a literature stripped of morality is inhuman, and Malraux that heroism and the epic are as possible in the present as is the time of the Argonauts, the Odyssey, and the Iliad.

In order to teach me as a writer, I often seek out the writers who I most closely want to emulate, but I also seek out writers who vividly create their own voice, and who write of worlds I have never seen.  While traveling in Mexico, I did not want to read fiction of American worlds that I knew.  I travel to move outside the scope of my usual experience, and as such I want my reading to do the same.  Llosa comments on this that, “Good literature erects bridges between different peoples, and by having us enjoy, suffer, or feel surprise, unites us beneath the languages, beliefs, habits, customs, and prejudices that separate us.”  That is what The Bad Girl accomplishes.  Most of the book is set in France, a place Llosa lived as a young writer, and like his main character, it is where he “learned that Peru was part of a vast community united by history, geography, social and political problems, a certain mode of being, and the delicious language it spoke and wrote.”  This is the power of traveling, and particularly of living abroad, if only for a short time, because by living abroad you gain perspective of your home.  This is even true of living “abroad,” in your own country.  For all the doomsday talk of the “strip-malling” of America, where the same stores and corporations are found from sea to shining sea, there is still deep diversity to be found in American culture, language, food, habits, attitudes and religions, but that is not a difference easily seen in movies or television, or even in literature.  It is a diversity only understood through traveling.

In the novel, the first person narrator, Ricardo Somocurcio, recounts the narrative arc of his life as it relates to his love for “the bad girl.”  We all have many narratives we can tell of our lives.  We characterize ourselves as the hero when trying to impress a date; we narrate our work histories when seeking employment, showing how every job was building towards the new job in question; we tell the stories of illnesses, of families, of reading, of disappointments; we tell the stories of love.  One of these narratives become our primary narrative, and will remain so until it is replaced by another.  For some people, their primary narrative remains the same for their entire life, and others it changes periodically.  One may be a parent as your primary narrative, and then find that shifting as your children grow, or you may create and follow a narrative of work identity, or of being a friend, or being a partner or a lover.  Somcurcio’s primary narrative was his love for one girl.  He did many other things in his life – he learned languages, traveled the world, achieved professional success, made friendships, but the primary narrative of his life, the thing that defined him, was his love for “the bad girl.”

Last week I watched the film, Of Gods and Men, about a monastery caught in the middle of jihadist anti-foreign military and militia conflict in Algeria.   The movie is a beautiful recounting of the communal life of the brothers, and the ways their life have intertwined with the Muslim village. And above all, the movie is about love.  Love for God, love for people, and love for place.  One of the brothers speaks about love, saying that, “Love is eternal hope.  Love endures everything.”  That, to me, seems the truest encapsulation of not just the movie, but of The Bad Girl, and of my experience of love in general.  Love, despite logic and what we would sometimes wish, endures everything.  That can be a thing of beauty, of romantic relationships that last for sixty years, of the unbreakable love between parent and child, and of the love of lifelong friendships, but it also means that through love people can become stuck to poisoned relationships and volatile situations.  I, and others, have written before of the idea and image of love, whatever the type of love, feeling like a cord binding one soul to another.  And when something happens to break off this love, to seemingly sever it, the cruel truth is that “love endures everything,” and thus will not be broken, but instead the cord remains attached, trapped beneath an immovable boulder, blocking you from all knowledge and contact with the one you love, but not severing the eternal hope.  That is the central story of The Bad Girl, and that is the central story in Of Gods and Men.  Both book and movie are the stories of how we have no choice but to give ourselves over to love, and the way in which we do that defines the type of people we are, and the types of lives we can lead. In the novel, the main character writes that he “fell in love with Lily like a calf,” and that total submission to love is what makes him the man he is, and it is thus what becomes the central narrative of his life.  I struggle, like so many, if not all of us do, with the power love has over me, and over my life, but ultimately I must accept that the relationship that I have with love is the defining relationship of my life.

Now that I’m back from Mexico, the things I remember most are the quiet moments.  I remember swimming in a cenote, floating inside the earth amongst dangling tree roots and stalactites.  I remember the queso relleno I ate in Mexico, a food unlike anything I’d eaten before, wonderfully rich, smooth and layered with flavor.  And I remember reading The Bad Girl.